So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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