lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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