Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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