He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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