Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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