My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
