Already got asked if we're dating
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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