dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
