i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
