so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
