Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
