Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just had sex on a roof
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
