After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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