Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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