12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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