I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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