were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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