thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
