Your tits are I can't wait for
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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