He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
