My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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