Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
