So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize