Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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