I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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