WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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