I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize