i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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