Your mouth is God's brothel.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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