Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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