It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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