I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize