maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
