i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
