i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
