No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
