This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
