I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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