Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, beer. Big fan.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
