What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
