Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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