i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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