That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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