umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
