thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize