Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
