Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
