You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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