If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
