the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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