hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
