I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
