He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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