I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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