My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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