Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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