does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
