it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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