Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
