just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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