We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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