I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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