Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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